


I Remember That You Told Me (We Could Work This Out)

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Inspired By A Certain Ship, confession of feelings, y’all already know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-24 22:38:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19733089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: Clarke had a routine every Friday, it was one of the only nights of the entire week that she had off from work so naturally, she took advantage. In an effort to get her best friend to relax because she was too tense most of the time, Raven calls the one person that Clarke has been avoiding for weeks to their game night.She just didn’t know that him and his girlfriend were getting serious, or that Clarke would storm out of the apartment as soon as he spilled the news that he was moving in with her.Nominated in BWFA for “Angst Nominations Under 8000K words”





	I Remember That You Told Me (We Could Work This Out)

**Author's Note:**

> This is totally just a spur of the moments type of thing, inspired by a conversation I had on twitter! If I finish this, please enjoy and hope everyone is well <3 
> 
> an edit: just wanted to say a huge thank you to anyone who nominated me for BWFA. it means so much to me to be acknowledged in the fandom, I love you all! Thank you for voting for me in the first round <3

“I’ll get it!,” Raven bounced up from her chair, once the bell rung, and practically ran to the front door. Clarke watched cautiously, her hand clutched onto the few cards she had been seconds away from putting down to win the game. 

Jasper was the one to nudge her in the ribs to get her attention back because it was her turn, and the minor setback into reality was a _mistake_. It’s because of him that she doesn’t see whoever Raven let into her apartment, or doesn’t dare focus on the hushed nervous whispers of her guests. 

Monty, who was sitting next to Jasper and in between his girlfriend Harper and previously Raven, froze and Clarke swore that he gasped in sudden realization. 

To still her pounding heart, she doesn’t look to whoever walked in—her mouth opens to try and get someone to tell her who exactly left them a loss for words, but none come out—so she leans forward in her chair to try and snap Jasper out of his daze. 

“Clarke?,” It was Raven, but her voice small and slightly nervous. The blonde had a natural instinct to her friends and their needs, so she turns towards the door frame that seperated her kitchen from her living room and finally gets what all the fuss was about. 

She could hear a sharp intake of breath that she’s _sure_ came from her, and her ears start to pound with a rush of adrenaline and disbelief. 

The room goes silent, absolutely still as it fills with unresolved tension—tension that solely belongs with her and _Bellamy_. 

“I invited them as my guests, if that’s okay.” _Raven knows it isn’t_ , Clarke wanted to yell at her and run to hide in her bedroom. But she couldn’t. Not when Bellamy’s girlfriend of two years was standing awkwardly next to him, hands stuck deep in her coat pockets and cheeks stretched into a bright smile. The girl was nice, they’ve met a few times but it stung her own heart every time. 

Clarke swiftly turned her head to the side, blue eyes pleading to Monty who was trying to find her gaze—Besides Raven, he was the only other person that knew about her personal struggles with loving someone she can’t have—and when he saw the look on her face, he spoke for her. 

“It’s fine, Rae.” He exclaimed, getting up to pull a few more chairs from the dinning table with Jasper’s help. Clarke feels her heart threatening to break, on the verge of letting her cloud of self doubt and memories with Bellamy wash over her completely. Monty finished, “It’s nice to see you guys” 

Raven nods, returning to her seat next to Clarke and Harper. 

“It’s a surprise, but I agree.” Harper adds while hugging Bellamy. 

“What are you guys playing?” Clarke hears the voice of Bellamy’s girlfriend, Gina and then a response by Harper who’s more than happy to reply. It was a known fact since the beginning, she would never be a picture perfect girlfriend for Bellamy, as Gina has long brown hair, soft eyes that exude confidence and kindness, her smile genuine. _She was nothing like Clarke_. 

While Bellamy was hugging Monty and then Jasper, the fear of confronting him was getting stronger. The kitchen table wasn’t big, so his travel to each of her friends was getting him closer to her. She doesn’t want to know what it’s like to be around him. Therefore, she tucks her chair further under the table and keeps her head straight, simply choosing ( _trying her best not to fail_ ) to ignore the way her chest feels tight when the ache to touch him got stronger. The words die on her tongue, words of praise and “ _I missed you so much_ ” don’t get to be said as he takes off his fleece long coat. 

His hair was cut shorter which framed his forehead, glasses left at home (it’s a shame, she loved how they looked on him) and his sweater was fitting nicely on his shoulders. 

Bellamy takes his seat, one that’s inbetween Monty and Jasper. _Three chairs beside Clarke on her right_. Clarke hates how attentive she is to things when Bellamy’s around, like his presence makes her hyperactive and alert. 

“Who’s winning?” He asks, his usual gentle tone—the one she remembered from the last time she saw him—was replaced by a rough voice that made her wonder if he ever only used that softness around her. “I don’t mind if we have to wait, I’m playing the next round.” He sounds amused, like he’s been waiting for this all day. 

It makes Jasper snicker. 

Clarke looks down at her cards, three aces and consecutive four cards that started with the number six—she takes a deep breath and sighs, “That would be me.” 

She looks at Harper instead, not at the person she’s actually talking to. 

She doesn’t give him a chance to reply as she turns to Monty, and she’s afraid that she’s talking too fast that she’s mumbling. “It was my turn right?” 

“Yeah, go ahead.” 

When Clarke wins the game, she gets up with a large grin and goes to the fridge to get another pack of beer—her ears perked when she hears Bellamy speak. 

She grabs one bottle for herself, about to call over her shoulder for anyone else who wants—she even finds herself tolerating Bellamy, who only praised her with one-sided compliments and spoke to the others—his close proximity was still keeping her on her toes, making her heart beat intensely as she tries to sneak a few glances in. 

“Hey gu—“ She starts to say, but gets cut off by a louder voice. 

It was Bellamy, his words filled with pride and adoration as she stares at the way he looks at his girlfriend. _She feels like she’s cant move_ : “Gina and I are moving in together.” He pauses, and Harper gasps along with Jasper, Raven’s mouth opens in shock. Clarke doesn’t miss how she turns to face the blonde, an apology on the tip of her tongue. “We just feel like it’s the right time to take the next step, and we’re moving downtown.” 

“You guys found a place already?” Clarke couldn’t figure out who said it, her body feels ice cold and her hands are shaking. 

But, she waits for an answer. 

“Yeah, we thought about it a few months ago. Gina was the one who put it all together so it’s final.” Bellamy answered smoothly. _With no hesitation_. 

_He wants this_. 

_He’s ready to move on_. 

The realization causes Clarke to drop the beer bottle on the floor, glass shattering everywhere and the slight smell of alcohol fills her nose. She can’t let anyone see her cry if, when, they come to see what happened so she turns around and braces herself on the marble counter next to the fridge. 

The sound of glass hitting the floor made her ears ring, but only for a few seconds since she was sensitive, and her knuckles are turning white with how hard she’s holding onto an idea, a false fantasy of what her life could’ve been. _Of what her life could’ve been like with Bellamy_. 

Raven comes rushing in, her eyes wide as she stares at her friend and the wet floor. 

“God, Clarke are you okay?” 

Suddenly, Clarke wants to run. She wants to run far, escape the pressure of being nice to people who she used to love, to escape the feeling of loneliness and immaturity that came with the desperation of wanting someone so bad. 

Her jaw clenches, forcing the sobs that threaten to pass her lips back and she musters enough strength, enough will, to push past Raven and leave the mess to clean up later. 

She just wants to run away. 

Somewhere far. 

Somewhere where Clarke can think of a world without Bellamy, without the man who she’s come to love with every ounce in her body—without the one person who doesn’t cause her mind utter chaos and destruction. 

_It’s all her fault_. 

* * *

“My keys, _Raven_ —“ Clarke exhausts, her voice strained with emotion. She doesn’t dare, couldn’t possibly, look at her friends who were now standing from their seats at the kitchen table. The card game long forgotten, and it makes Clarke cringe. It was not a big deal, she just needed to do something (it was her excuse, she decided) so they could play all they wanted without her. “Where are my keys?” She makes her way into the living room, happy to find an empty room. 

She tries to keep her voice down, although frustration was getting under her skin quickly then she expected so she starts to panic. She still loves Bellamy, and it terrified her. Yet there he was, sitting at her kitchen table with their friends surrounding him as he spilled the news of his relationship going to the next step. 

Clarke pulls at her hair, her voice shaky when she took a deep breath to calm her down. 

“Clarke, what are you doing?” It was Harper, her brows scrunched with worry. 

“Have you seen my car keys? I need to do something.” The blonde says, voice filled with urgency and worry. If she didn’t leave soon, she would lose everything, she would lose the precious time of pushing her true feelings for Bellamy so deep into her heart, and that _can’t_ happen. “I have to leave.” 

Clarke should’ve known that Harper would be empathetic, she would turn to ask the guys for help and that alone would worry them about something actually being wrong. _It would worry Bellamy_. No matter how long they’ve been apart, he would always worry about what she did. Even if it was harmless, the relaxation of the crease in the middle of his forehead when she returned home was enough proof otherwise. 

Raven comes running back to Clarke, knowing her mistake and how to fix it. 

She opens her palm, revealing Clarke’s keys and handing them to her quickly. 

“Don’t do anything stupid,” The brunette warned, and Clarke nods her usual response to keep her friend at bay. Her need to be alone had been frequent, especially after Bellamy told everyone that he started dating again and he just seemed so happy that Clarke would hate herself for not feeling the same way. “And I’m sorry for what I did, if I would’ve known that he was gonna drop such big news, I wouldn’t of—“ 

Clarke cuts her off, wiping her face of any tears that fell, “It’s okay. I’ll be fine after I take time to figure this out.” 

Raven leans in closer, hearing the footsteps of the other guys getting closer and she sighs. “You love him, Clarke. And he’s..” Her words drag out, pausing to keep the crushing truth to herself. 

The blonde clutches the keys in her hands, not wanting to reply. Raven keeps her covered from everyone’s eyes, afraid to cover up the endless questions about why Clarke is so frantic. 

It was Bellamy’s voice that the two girls hear first. 

“Is she okay?” Clarke knew he wasn’t talking to her, and for that she sighs in relief. She squeezes Raven’s hand and turns quickly to reach for the door knob and the minute she twists, she hears Bellamy’s voice again. This time, he’s speaking directly at her and his tone is anything _but_ gentle. “Clarke, you don’t need to go. Whatever it is, we could help you. _I_ —“

She doesn’t need to hear what he could do for her, having several years of experience of how helpful he is in calming her down when she’s freaking out. 

She doesn’t need to hear him ask for her to stay with him. 

She doesn't need an explanation on what he could do for her, not when he has a girlfriend and he loves her. _Not Clarke_. 

* * *

**THREE YEARS AGO** : 

“Bellamy, _please_.” Her mind feels like it’s going to explode with racing thoughts about how she feels, how she feels about the man in front of her. After everything, it took a single peck on the lips to break Clarke into a frenzy of insecurity as she wondered if she could commit to someone who deserved better. _Who deserved the entire world_. 

The local park was dark at night, having a certain haunting of silence that leaves people alone in their thoughts. The moon was cascading down on them both, a chill in her bones leaving her cold and missing the warmth of Bellamy’s arm around her shoulders. 

The warmth that she _took_ away. 

“You agreed to this date so that you can break up with me, is that it?” He snapped suddenly, although she could see the tears forming in the brim of his eyes. 

Clarke stepped away in frustration and says, “I don’t know what to say, I’m—“

“You’ve been acting weird ever since I kissed you the first time,” Bellamy points out, cutting her off. His hands, not knowing what to do since they weren’t holding Clarke’s, are shoved into his pockets. He looks down to the gravel on the floor. “If you didn’t have feelings for me then you should’ve told me Clarke.” 

“I do have feelings,” Clarke said. “God, I like you _so_ much.” Her fingers feel cold as they rub her face, she had no idea what to say to him. Could she do this? 

It’s already tearing her heart apart. 

“Then what’s the problem?” Bellamy argued, in a hushed voice that he used when he got worried. “Am I not good enough?” 

Clarke shakes her head immediately in disagreement, because he’s a man that way _too_ good for his own knowledge. Any girl would be lucky to have him, it would be like winning the lottery. 

“I can’t,” She paused, feeling her chest tighten with an emotion she’s never felt before. She’s never denied herself the pleasure of loving someone, but Bellamy loves _so_ hard. “Bellamy, how would it look if we started to get serious? We practically work together and I just don’t want to mess that up. We’re _friends_ —“

Bellamy cuts her off with a simple nod but a single tear falls, “So our careers are more important than how we feel about eachother? I’m a game to you, is that how you see this relationship?” He emphasizes with hurt, the pain evident in his voice. “I don’t want you to just be my friend, my love for you is too strong. You can’t expect me to just forget my feelings about you, Clarke.” 

Clarke grabs him by the shoulders and smashes her lips on his, it’s rushed and she won’t allow herself to feel the way their breaths mingle or the harsh breathing that comes from his nose. His arm wraps around her waist tightly, the warmth of his body being so close was enough to leave her dizzy, and Bellamy cups her face in his hands. 

She pulls away before she could fight herself on staying for him, before she could realize that she’s making a mistake and lose him when he falls in love with another person, before she realizes that she _is_ good enough. 

“Don’t leave.” He says, his breath tickles her cheek because he doesn’t want to pull away. 

“I can’t do this right now,” Clarke admits with a pained sigh, her voice cracked. “I need to figure out how I feel and who I am, Bellamy. I need to love _me_.” 

Bellamy shakes his head softly, not wanting to let her go. He never wants to let go, but she softly grabs his hands and pulls herself away. 

He swallows thickly, the ghost of her taste on his lips is fresh and he takes a short breath. “Friends?” 

Clarke nods with flatline lips, “Friends.” 

* * *

The park hasn't changed. The grass was a little greener and there’s a few more attractions, _sure_ , but the way her heart fills with sorrow was still there for Clarke. 

It only got heavier, and she’s quite exhausted of feeling this way. 

There she was, leaning forward with her arms perched on a wooden frame as she looked out onto the lake. A few years ago, she would’ve strictly stayed to walking in the common spots like tracks or playgrounds—but it quickly turned into the lake because it was quiet. It was around eight in the evening, and the sky was dark with stars lit and bright, and she took the time to recollect herself before she went back to her own party looking like a mess. 

But this, the lake, was _her_ spot. 

She felt a lot of things. She felt guilty for hating such a wonderful girl who most likely loves Bellamy just as much as she does, she feels horrible for not trusting herself to be around him, she feels even _more_ guilty with being the cause of their friends not being around him. 

She feels regret for letting him out of her grasp all those years ago, for being stupid to think she wasn’t good enough for him when he was ready to offer her everything she wanted. When in reality, all she wanted was him. She didn’t care about anything else, _just_ Bellamy. She can’t even look him in the eyes now, or stand to give him a hug, most likely because she would never let go. 

She missed him terribly. 

That was the truth. 

They were okay after Clarke broke things off, it was like they had been best friends all along. But then, both of them would start having flings and the other would distance themselves to give space and it turned awkward. A year later, they tried to rekindle their friendship by hanging out together but the affection got more forgiving—hands on thighs, sneaked gazes that should only belong to romantic partners. It was boundary that Clarke told herself she wouldn’t give into again, so she stopped it. 

She stopped him from getting closer to her, and she lost the best man she’s never known. 

Clarke doesn’t know she’s crying until a breeze passes through the trees that calls attention to the dried wetness on her face, and she wipes at her cheeks. 

Luckily, she wore a sweater thick enough to keep her warm but her emotions were the cause of her shaking and shivering. It was overwhelming, to be so in love with someone. 

She also knew that there’s a few people who pass by now and then, either relaxing or strolling through other parts of the park. It’s the reason why she doesn’t hear heavy footsteps, or the sound of someone approaching. 

“You drove here,” The voice begins to say and Clarke froze, pulling her sleeves up to cover her palms as a nervous habit. It was Bellamy, slightly out of breath and loud. He continued, “With alcohol in your system.” 

“I drank mine about two hours before you showed up, if that makes you feel better.” She argued softly, knowing she couldn’t put up a fight anymore. She had to face him, _of course_ , he would be the one to run after her. 

“I worry about you, Clarke.” 

“You don’t have to,” She says without a care in the world. Not turning to face him, she already knows he was walking closer. “I can take care of myself and you could worry over Gina.” 

“But, she isn’t—“ 

Clarke cuts him off, side stepping to keep herself away. Her body acts on instinct and months of neglect, she forced herself to move away when Bellamy was near. It scares her, how attracted she is to him. _Like two opposite forces_. “I’ve been by myself for two years, I know how to watch over myself.” 

“Are you sure you aren’t drunk?” 

“God, Bellamy.” Clarke says, “I can’t get drunk anymore.” 

“But I saw those cases in your fridge, and if I could just get you home—“ 

Clarke snapped, “I can’t get drunk when you’re around.” She steps back and further away, gasping from her outburst. 

Bellamy’s mouth was open in shock from trying to digest those words, and then his eyes narrow down at her. It’s a soft look that she missed, that she craved for so long. His hand twitches, urging him to grab her. “That’s ridiculous, I haven’t seen you in like two months.” 

If there was any rational explanation, she was sure she would’ve said it. 

“If I drink too much, I’m not capable of what happens,” Clarke explained, intertwining her fingers together shyly. “I can’t be in control around you, and that fear alone is what keeps me away from drinking.” She shrugs her shoulders before saying one last thing, “If I drink, it makes me think of you, so that’s why”

“You cant be in control?” Bellamy’s heart is pounding in his chest, his throat was burning with words he never thought he would be able to say again to Clarke’s face. Words of admiration, everlasting love, power. “What does that even mean?” 

Clarke shakes her head, “it doesn’t matter now, none of this matters.” 

She tries to turn on her heel, hand already digging in her pocket for her keys but Bellamy was too quick. He leaped forward to grab at Clarke’s arm; pulling her to his chest and other hand reaching to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes as she fights him. 

“Let me go, Bellamy _please_ —“ She pleads, but can’t help but nuzzle into his hand because it’s been so long. 

Even Bellamy holds his breath, his curls falling onto the top of his forehead as he shakes his head. He won’t...he can’t. 

“You need to talk to me,” He tries to tell her through encouragement. He just has to get through, break down her walls like he used to, he has to _tell_ her how much she still means to him. “Whatever you say matters, _God_ , how you matter so much to everyone.” He pauses, present in the way his words leave her breathless in his hold. “You matter so much to me.” 

“I told you before,” Clarke whispered, “I couldn’t be with you _before_.” A mention of the past, of how they felt about eachother, it was needed to be said. 

It was a bandage that got ripped off before either of them knew what had happened, the pain raw and alive in both their hearts. He shouldn’t love someone as much as he does with Clarke, not when he should— _was_ dating someone else. 

“Don’t remind me,” He pleaded, loosening his grip on her arm just incase she wanted to get away. If anything, it was a surprise to the both of them when she didn’t dare move away. It was wrong, it was wrong to be with him, but Clarke didn’t care. She was the best version of herself around him, and she was dumb to think of just being friends would satisfy her. 

“You’re moving in with someone,” She tells him, “And I’m happy for you because it seems like she loves you a lot. It’s what you deserve.” 

Bellamy wants to punch himself in the gut for being utterly careless and reckless. 

“She’s not you.” 

Clarke flinches slightly, “I’m not the girl you’re moving in with.” 

“Do you love me?” A simple question for a complicated girl. _Bellamy knows that_. 

“I shouldn’t say it, you have a girlfriend Bellamy.” She chokes back a sob, her hand covering her mouth. “ _You_ have a girlfriend.” 

“Do you still love me,” He asks again, his own eyes watering with tears. “After all these years, has your feelings ever changed?” 

“How can you ask that?” Clarke steps back, feeling clearly offended and too many emotions. Emotions she buried deep inside long ago, that were threatening to break through. “How can you _not_ know how hard I fell for you.” It felt useless to try and explain, but she was tired. 

She points a finger at his chest, but he grabs her hand and flattens it against his beating heart. 

“You were the one that left me,” He said as he shut his eyes at the memory that kept him awake so many nights in the past. “I was in love with you, and I _waited_.” His voice was low, through gritted teeth. He thinks of how he felt three years ago when she told him that she couldn’t let herself fall in love, of how he tried to act like nothing changed. He thinks of Gina, who makes him happy and feel loved every time they see eachother. 

Bellamy thinks of Clarke, a woman who’s in his arms trying to escape right in that moment, and how she lights up his entire universe. She makes him a better person, makes him smile so hard until his jaw tightens and feels sore. For years, all he’s wanted is _her_. Everything and anything that she would give to him, he would hold onto it. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bellamy sighs, breathing in the smell of nature and pine trees while he dives deeper into her blue eyes. “I’ll always love you, Clarke.” 

She sniffles, removing her hand from her mouth as she tries to stop crying. It was difficult, having such a build up of emotions that finally came out after years of abandoning them. After abandoning Bellamy. It hurt _bad_ , and Clarke feels broken. 

“I don’t know what to say.” She admits, her voice barely audible. 

“Will you just come closer?” He begs her with red eyes, Bellamy doesn’t bother to clear his throat when tears threaten to fall again. “Let me hold you, and I swear I won’t do anything.” A promise, even if it broke him inside. 

Clarke doesn’t rob herself of a chance to touch him or listen to his heart pounding in his chest, so she walks the few steps back into his personal space and wraps her arms around his torso and squeezes tightly. When her head thumps against his shirt, she realizes that he never changed the scent of his cologne, it was the last straw. She breaks down, sobs escaping her throat and the careful heartstrings that kept her feelings at bay since that day three years ago, were threading apart and left her bare. 

“I hate myself,” She mumbles against his shirt, and it makes him freeze from running his hand along her back. “I hate _you_ ,” She spoke softly, it was the truth pouring out of her. But, it wasn’t how it seemed. Not this time. “I hate how much I still love you, it’s so _easy_ to love you Bellamy.” Clarke pulls away, wanting to look him in the eyes when she says it. 

“It’s been three years,” Bellamy reminds her, keeping his replies short to get more out of her. It’s all he wanted, for Clarke to open up about how she feels. “You love me?” He doesn’t smile, but frown. 

_He has a girlfriend_. 

The reminder is painful. 

“I never stopped.” 

“So why now?” Bellamy could feel his voice ringing in his ears, his head is spinning and his fingers are close to becoming numb. “Why do you want me right now? When I’m with someone who makes me happy.” He just has to hear her say what he’s been dying to know since their last kiss. 

Clarke sucks in a breath, looking down to the floor and the action leaves them both disappointed. She could get through this and she could tell Bellamy how she really feels. She could move on, step aside to let Bellamy live. 

She forced the words out of her mouth and kept her gaze on her boots, hoping that the intense focus would distract herself from the words she was saying. 

Her hands grip to his arms, a safety and comfort. Clarke licks her sudden dry lips from the cold and nerves, “I didn’t plan or wait till you were dating someone Bellamy. I told you that I needed to figure myself out, to be a better person for _me_. It was only because I couldn’t wrap my head around someone loving me so much when I _felt_ ,” Her voice cracked on the word, hating how raw she sounded. How could she let herself run away from how she felt about Bellamy? She starts over, “I felt unworthy of being with someone like you. But I realize why I was so scared before.” 

“Clarke, I—“ 

She continued, silently hoping that Bellamy wouldn’t mind being cut off. Her focus was switched from her shoes to the way Bellamy’s fingers wrapped around her wrist, she felt the reassurance in every move. “You make me a better person, it was easy to realize my own faults because I was alone and to view myself like you saw me. It was the most difficult time of my life when I realized that I was the one who pushed you away. Bellamy, you never wanted to leave me and I realize that now.”

Clarke assured him, tears falling freely down her cheeks as she wiped them away. “It makes me feel terrible that I made the biggest mistake of my life and now I’m paying for it. I wanted you to be happy, I’ve told you that for as long as I’ve known you. But _now_ , I know that I was always hoping you’d be happy forever with _me_.” 

“If I knew how you felt, _shit_ , Clarke I would’ve never...” He doesn’t finish his sentence, he’s too in shock and awe. It would physically hurt too much if she allowed him to elaborate on that fact, so she stops him. 

“You should go,” She says instead, her hand clutching her sweater as if it would keep her heart inside her chest. “Go back to Gina, move in with her and I hope she knows how lucky she is to have you.” She doesn’t want to dwell on the ‘what if’, because she said how she truly felt and it wouldn’t change anything. Clarke moves away, and even though she told him to go back to the others, she was the one who starts to run back to her car. 

She could feel the rocks and gravel under her feet as she tries to get away from a man that loves two women, from someone who she would drop everything for and marry in an instant. The wind that passes through makes her cross her arms together to avoid the shiver that threatens to crawl up her spine, and everything feels like _too_ much. 

The thought of Bellamy wishing she had spoke sooner about how she felt was all she would allow herself to analyze, it proved how much of an idiot she was. 

An idiot that’s also a fool and stupidly, recklessly in love with Bellamy Blake. 

* * *

Clarke messily puts her glasses back on her face, hurrying because her doorbell rang and she didn’t want anyone to see how puffy her eyes had gotten overnight.

Maybe, _just_ maybe, she had been crying herself to sleep these last few days since she spoke to Bellamy. She felt emotionally wrecked, numb to anything or anyone else since then. Raven and Harper had come over to her house yesterday to hang out, doing normal things that women do when they get their heart broken. (It was a night that involved a nice glass of red wine and movies) 

She thinks that one of them must’ve forgotten something from the night before, so she looks around her house quickly before walking towards the front door that had gone silent.

She reaches for the knob, her face scrunched in confusion. “Raven?” She twists, and opens the door slowly because if her friend did forget something she would’ve barged in my now. “Harper?”

Her eyes widen, when she’s met with an urgent and impatient Bellamy as he walks past her and into her apartment.

“Neither.” He says simply, a huff of air around them.

“Bellamy, what are you doing here?” She asks softly, too shocked more than anything. Clarke reaches up and tugs a piece of hair behind her ear, she blames the low bun that was slowly failing to keep her hair bunched together. “Aren’t you moving today? Where’s Gina?” 

(Harper broke the news to her last night that they were moving things along, and Clarke felt insanely grateful to have a shoulder to cry on.) 

Bellamy rubs his hands together, his own nervous habit that grew on. His hair was a mess of curls sticking in all directions and an old t-shirt that hung loose on his shoulders with jeans that she’s seen him wear too many times. He takes a deep breath, stepping closer to Clarke and he has the nerve to smile at her. 

“I couldn’t do it,” He admits. “I can’t move in with her, I can’t do that to myself or Gina.” 

“Bellamy, what the _hell_.” Clarke held her breath, feeling unafraid to ask him why. 

She may love him, but Gina was a perfect girl for him—wasn’t he happy?—and they had been dating for years. He wouldn’t of stayed with her this long if he didn’t love Gina so much. It was a fact she would have to live with for the rest of her life. 

“I love Gina, and she’s such a great girl but,” He paused as he searched for Clarke’s gaze. Luckily, she had been stuck on him since the day they met. The surprise of it all, led Clarke to stumble backwards and her back hits the front door causing it to close. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with her.” 

“Bell, what are you saying?” The nickname falls from her lips and she doesn’t try to stop it. The thought of Bellamy breaking up with Gina so quickly could only mean one thing. 

Bellamy walks a few steps, both of his hands framing Clarke’s head as he leans against the door—trapping her body with his. Both of their hearts beating fast, heads spinning with realizations and Clarke feels lightheaded from how close his face was to her’s. It would be cruel for this to be a dream, she thought. 

Bellamy spoke clearly, like he’s rehearsed this speech for days until he got into perfect. With confidence, his eyes bore into hers. He let himself drown in her blue wide eyes with no regrets, no guilt, _nothing_.

”The girl I want to be with is standing right in front of me,” He states, and Clarke’s reaction is to grip his shoulders tightly. “The girl I want to spend the rest of my life with rejected me three years ago because she was scared.” 

Through her tear filled eyes, she laughed nervously. “I wonder who that could be.” 

She couldn’t believe it. 

Bellamy loves her. _He wants to be with her_. 

“Are you scared now?” He takes precaution in his question, leaning back to give her an option to move away. He was so sweet like that, he cared so much. Clarke couldn’t afford to be foolish again, so she shakes her head with a lip biting smile.

Bellamy grinned so wide that the dimple on his chin appeared, and one of his hands moves to shakily cup her cheek and feel her skin against his. He grew serious again, “It’s all or nothing, I’m all in. I’m not letting you leave again.” 

Clarke sighs, her emotions taking over as her hands trail up his shoulders and rest in the hollow of his neck. She says shyly, glancing up at him. “You dropped everything to be with me? Bellamy, you had a perfect girl to date.” 

“Then you don’t know me,” He argues with a light tone. “You’re the girl I wanted since the beginning, I’m here and I’m here to _stay_.” He licks his lips, before saying—“You’re perfect for me, everything about you. I’m in love with you. You’re _it_ for me.” 

Clarke could burst into tears if she wanted to, she feels so happy. After everything they’ve been through, after what she’s done to him, he was there all along. 

“So I’ll ask you again,” Bellamy brushes under her eyes for any stray tears and not being able to help himself, he leans forward and kisses her cheek. “Are you scared of being with me? Where we’ll still see eachother at work, our group of friends will bother us, and I’ll love you for the times where you doubt it.” 

Clarke closes her eyes, wondering how _lucky_ she was to have a man as great as Bellamy to exist in her life. She does what she’s been waiting to do for the last three years, and catches him off guard with presses her lips against his for her answer of a lifetime. 

“Yes, I’m not backing away.” She says before he could react to her soft kiss and smiles. “It’s you and me now.” 

Bellamy feels like he would never stop kissing her if he grabbed her face and pulled her close, but she wanted to talk so he let her. 

But, he really wanted to kiss her for real this time. He wanted to leave her breathless in his arms and want more, he wanted to show her how much he’s always cared. 

His hands tangle in her hair, pulling her closer until their foreheads are touching and he could feel her breathing against his nose. 

“You and me, it’s how it should’ve always been.” Bellamy says, and Clarke bites her lip again. 

“I’m all in.” She whispered to him, copying his earlier choice of words. She says it with a bright smile and a sharp nod of her head. Clarke had the love of her life in her arms, as she finally lets herself _have_ it. She couldn’t stop herself from being truly happy, not anymore. 

_It’s them against the world now_.


End file.
